We have now ‘moved’–at least, we are in transition, having sold our home, packed the container (God bless the guys who filled it from top to bottom, front to back-dunno how they did it!!!)… car’s just arrived in port, we are staying with friends in California through the holidays in a ‘recovery’ mode, and trying to process this VERY HUGE shift in our world!

During the tumult and chaos of this unprecedented change from 17 years of momentum in one place, from a quiet space of an island, from the comfort that is a pretty narrow world, a few friends who understood what we were doing, (even when we didn’t) coached us through some of the weirdness that is such tumultuous change. One sent me a quote I hope to never lose touch with as it is so very appropos to our lives right now:

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have…

and take that step into the darkness of the unknonwn,

We must believe that one of two things will happen…..

There will be something solid for us to stand on…

Or…..

We will be taught how to fly.

~ Tom Teller~

I’m not used to being the cause of “chaos.”

I’m used to being the organizer, the director, the conductor, putting the pieces together from all over the island and islands, getting it all harmonious.

Instead, I’ve “caused” chaos in our home, in my husband’s heart, in my dogs’ lives, and therefore, in my own heart. I truly know deep inside, from my Inner Voice (granted, it’s gotten very small amidst all of the tumult), that there is a Miracle just over the rainbow that leads from this tumult to rest and renewal.

Yet still, in the moment, I feel my husband’s grieving, I feel my dogs’ anxiety about what could possibly be happening to the only home they’ve known for 10 of their 10.5 years, and I feel my own chagrin and despair at being the instigating “cause.” Yes, my husband went along, as good-naturedly as he could, and still, as the days draw closer to our end-times here on Maui, the stress and grief comes to each of us in our own ways.

Of course, it is made harder by those who wonder aloud, “How could ANYONE leave Maui?” It IS, after all, Paradise for so many and so many work much of their lives to achieve the dream of living here. I cannot yet put into words on this blog what happened for me, personally, but perhaps one day the words will come and I can tell my story.

For now, I know that I was compelled, initially by emotional reaction to horrifying vocational circumstances, to rethink the direction of my life. Then, as that carpet was pulled out from under me, I saw much that I’d been sweeping under it for some years now. And The Voice spoke within that it was time for a new dream, new opportunities, new options, more access.

I Pray, prostrate to God, that the Humility I have gained this year stays with me and that my Faith equal it and I come to know the purpose in all of this tumult; the purpose that was mine in causing chaos.

A Friend, Carol Ann, wrote to me: “Even though my Higher Self knew full well the absolute truth about it all and the wonderful Divine Plan unfolding before our very eyes, by DETACHING FROM EVERYTHING of our past the outer self still has to grow into that consciousness, it seems.  All the while the Higher Self is thrilled to let go of the old so we can accept like a flowing river ~ all our Presence has waiting for us in a much, much higher vibration in our life.”

How that reverberates with me at this time!  God is really trying to use a rolling pin on all of my ideas and my feelings, and everything! Stretching me as far as the dough will go–hopefully no holes will appear in this creation of His!

I just had to start this blog! We have begun a very moving process…. we are releasing our life of 16+ years on Maui, Hawaii…

It has been a very trying process…. and a very educational process.

We call it our unraveling.

We call it releasing.

We call it decluttering.

We call it lightening our load.

Many things to call it…yet no matter what, it’s a most intense process!

I thought that maybe if I wrote about it, there might be others who, too, have done such unraveling and wish to share their experiences; we shall see.

We recognize that in the releasing of our jobs, our home (hopefully soon), our vehicles, much of our furniture we’ve had ‘forever’, that we are unraveling tightly wound up strands of our lives here.

What we are learning is to not get so caught up in the unraveling that we forget about the rebuilding that is to come…ahhhhh, now that is truly the secret to keeping one’s wits about oneself during the sometimes-exhilarating, sometimes-startling, sometimes-horrifying emotions of the releasing that comes from calling it quits in one place and aiming for somewhere new.